I think part of it is pulling apart what ‘gone’ means. I know she’s gone, my mom, she died 5 years ago. But parts of her are still here--I’m wearing some of her jewelry, I have her artwork hung around the house, there are pictures of us on the beach in Florida, back, before.
Even though she was from Manhattan and we all lived in New York until I was about 15, I’ll always see her in Florida, on the beach. Since we planned most of our family get togethers around Thanksgiving, it was usually windy, and she would say it was too cold to go swimming. We Northerners begged to differ, and she’d follow us in up to her knees, laughing and telling me I needed more sunscreen. (She was right, as usual.)
When it was time to sell the Florida house, my brother and I wandered through the house, picking things up and putting them down. He wanted some artwork, I wanted her fancy cordial glasses, we divided her books. I took a candle. I still have it on my bookcase.
Here’s the thing--the candle smells exactly like the ocean. Salty and fresh, not at all sweet or perfumed. But you can’t smell it unless you light it. And the longer it sits around, the less fragrance it carries. I think it’s time, here in the heart of a DC winter, to light my candle and let the smell of the sea fill the room.
She may not be here, but she’ll never be gone.
Kim Alexander grew up in the wilds of Long Island, NY and slowly drifted south until she reached Key West. After spending ten rum-soaked years as a DJ in the Keys, she moved to Washington DC, where she lives with two cats, an angry fish, and her extremely patient husband. She began writing when she ran out of authors to interview (and they pulled the plug on her channel, Sirius XM Book Radio.)
Kim was in her twenties when she finally read a book not prominently featuring spaceships and/or wizards. Turns out Jane Austen was pretty funny!
Kim’s husband tells her she needs to write at least ten more books if she intends to retire in Thailand, so thank you for your patronage. Please visit her at kimalexanderonline.com or on her Amazon author page.