LPs That Can't Live Up to Their Covers

None of these records are horrible by any means. I could not locate samples of many of them already online to share, so you will have to take my word for it. The albums’ contents are simply not as good as the covers. Honestly, how could they be?

1. This lovely lady was willing to go the extra mile to be photographed in a cypress swamp in her leotard to ensure the success of Los Llopis’ No Pidas Mas Perdon. According to Google translate, this album‘s name in English is “Do not ask Forgiveness more,” while the artist is “The Llopis.” The record is actually quite enjoyable (at least my African grey parrot likes it).

2. It turns out 750 sound is just good old fashioned lounge music (a la the Command label) that uses the stereo mix to its full advantage. I find this kind of music hilarious, but I am old. Man or woman on the cover? You be the judge.

3. Not only is Chod* in the Czech Republic, it is in my heart. Their music is delightful, but you will have to take my word for it. I am unable to find a sample to share.

*Not to be confused with a definition of “chod” from Urban Dictionary: “a penis whose circumference is longer than its length. ”

4. A woman getting off a plane that just landed by the ocean’s edge has never looked this happy. Beryl is from Yorkshire England but this record was recorded in DC. Her liner notes describe each song’s style. Of “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”: “Dixieland: Today’s permissive society would probably label little Maxwell as a misguided youth with a bloody strong thing for hammers. Actually, taken in the proper perspective, he’s got a problem.” I got news for you Beryl: In today‘s permissive society Maxwell would likely have his own TV show.

5. A family with TERRIFIC outfits from Hong Kong who released pop albums in Indonesia in the 1960s.

Here is their version of “Spinning Wheel.”


6. A Peruvian purveyor of exotica with a four octave range, Ms. Sumac’s music is ok, if a bit piercing at times. Her serene beauty in the faces of an Incan god’s fury and an erupting volcano is to be admired.

7. Pasty placement in the days before Photoshop on Volume 5 of a series. This enjoyable album is a different volume but features equally compelling music from the Egyptian city.

8. Music from the 1961 Peruvian movie Kukuli, (again, unfortunately, unfindable online) which tells the story, according to IMDb of “Kukuli, a young llama herder, who leaves her grandparents in the countryside of Cusco to attend the Feast of Mamacha Carmen in the town of Paucartambo.” Kukuli is obviously distressed by the large being covered in purple hair while her friend seems to be asking, “What’s the big fuss?”

9. Dr. Murray Banks is still alive! This record from the 60s, and others by the good doctor, are thrift store staples.

What Dr. Murray Banks has to share is fine, but this cover is a gem. Sadly I cannot find the illustrator’s name. I love the pervert on the far end, but these five characters all represent the human condition quite well. Which one are you? Other LPs by Dr. Banks: “Just in Case you Think You’re Normal!,” “The Drama of Sex,” and “Dr. Murray Banks Tells Jewish Stories Mit Psychology.”

Bonus, many years ago in the land of cassette tapes, I used samples from this record in “The 4 Basic Wants.”